Living Like You blogger, Jamie Tripp Utitus, shares what this expression means to her.read more
Naturally, we become close to the people we see the most. Beyond my family, friends and colleagues, I spend the most time with my multiple sclerosis.
My multiple sclerosis follows me every single day. I have tingling, cog fog and optic neuritis, and other daily symptoms. I’ve managed to implement coping strategies to live a manageable life—but on one particularly bad day, my MS and I had a fight.
A Hard Day Living With MS
There was one week until a family vacation, and I was cramming in work, errands and household duties. I had offered to help some friends with some of their personal tasks and I was also volunteering. A friend who had just lost her mom needed my consolation, and my son had terrible tonsillitis and strep throat.
My stress level was high and my multiple sclerosis symptoms reminded me on several occasions to slow down. Throughout the week, my hands and feet were tingling. I was having jolts of pain in my leg and also experienced lhermitte’s.
By the end of the week, my son’s condition had become worse and I decided to take him to the emergency department. I made a quick stop to the bathroom—those of us with incontinence issues understand that an accident is a realistic possibility in times of stress. When I looked in the mirror, I was shocked to see how worn out I looked. The dark circles under my eyes had a striking resemblance to a panda bear.
The mirror was showing my MS symptoms manifesting before my eyes. This is when the violent confrontation with my MS began. I hit my thigh in hopes of getting feeling back in my leg, saying, “Damn you, MS. Get out of my way.” I conjured enough strength to take my son to the hospital. My hands tingled the whole way there, but I squeezed the steering wheel as hard as I could and endured the discomfort. I had an excruciating pain behind my right eye and rubbed my eyeball so hard that I was momentarily blinded.
The drive to the hospital was excruciating, but I parked and managed to carry all 41 lbs. of my weak son to the emergency doors. My feet and hands were tingling but it didn’t matter. I was in a fight with my MS and I was determined to win.
Recently, my son and I were talking about that day. He asked, “Mommy, when you went to the bathroom before we went to the hospital, who were you talking to?” I chuckled and answered, “No one, my love.” I will introduce him to my MS one day, when the time is right.
So I continue to hang out with my MS. If we have a fight, MS still sees the greatness in me. I didn’t choose to have MS, but I have a choice in how I deal with it. I am determined to always win the fight.
My fellow blogger Jamie Tripp Utitus shared her story of When It Rains It Pours. Can you recall a day you had to fight your MS like we have? Share with our community on Facebook.