Finding Humor in “Female Problems” with MS

Karen O’Shea
Written by
Karen O’Shea

I doubt multiple sclerosis is at the top of anyone’s list of favorites. In fact if MS were a person, I can guarantee they wouldn’t be on your Christmas card list. If it were a pillow, you would repeatedly pound on it, bite it and, rather than scream into it, scream at it like a banshee or a toddler that dropped their lollipop.

We women also get a particularly raw deal. For instance, as a woman, you are two to three times more likely to get MS than a man. This coupled with the fact that, as a lady, you have the whole female reproductive system thingy to contend with, is an unpleasant predicament. Now, I’m not running down the male population at all but, come on! Each month it can feel like someone is ripping your insides out. If you have a baby, pushing it out isn’t exactly a walk in the park either. And I don’t care what anyone says - things never quite go back to the way they were, if you know what I mean. (Maybe someday I’ll write a blog on Labiaplasty/Vaginaplasty!)

As a woman with MS facing mother nature every month, I know I can’t be the only one who has cried because they ran out of my favorite crisps in the supermarket, and don’t get me started about when they play that mind numbingly boring music. It really bugs me. I want to rip the speakers out of the wall (is that just me?) I know I’m not the only one who has “fat“ trousers for those days where I’m so bloated people are wondering how many months pregnant I am. Men don’t worry about bloat. They don’t get upset if people don’t notice their new haircut.

One could argue most women would be upset with any of these things MS or no MS, but add on top of that days where your legs decide to go all Bambi like. We can have pain and dizziness, for starters.. Sexual dysfunction can be another issue - but if there is no dysfunction how do people have the energy to do it anyway? I’m glad to just make it to the bed at the end of the day. Sexy time? What’s that? I can’t even bend down to shave my legs!

MS sucks. Mother nature sometimes sucks. Combine the two, and it isn’t pretty. Women are awesome. Men are almost as awesome. Hormones makes us emotional fire crackers. Tread carefully. Throw chocolate at us if necessary!

Although being a woman with MS can mean fighting an uphill battle, take comfort in the fact that you aren’t alone in this! And if you know other women with MS, lend your support – because as we know, the smallest things can make the biggest difference – whether it’s a kind word, a hug or even a piece of aforementioned chocolate (throwing not necessary:)).

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